


invisible, not invincible

by ultskz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, Gen, M/M, Sad Ending, be careful this may fuck you up, felix is invisible, kinda short, lowkey changlix, only 2000 words, totally on a whim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 14:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15798087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultskz/pseuds/ultskz
Summary: “and as if his body wasn’t experiencing enough sensation as it was, for the first time in years, felix felt someone, a living, breathing human being, touch his skin.”———— where felix has been invisible to the world for years now, and walks the streets if seoul alone at night.and someone sees him.





	invisible, not invincible

felix didn’t know what kept him tethered to the streets of seoul. maybe it was the vibrant colour and flashiness of it all. maybe it was the life that surrounded him on all sides, the constant business and movement that made him feel part of the crowd. the people that sped past him with their phones pressed to their skulls and their feet taking them to places he’ll probably never know. a part of his heart knew that when he wandered along these streets, everyone else had somewhere, a home, a place, to go to. felix was left with the neon lights above him and the cement under his feet, the cement he walked on for as long as he could live.

his ears rang heavily with the sound of skidding cars along the road, and the chatter and voices of the focused people that enclosed him. felix’s eyes caught sight on a woman opening a cherry patterned umbrella to shield herself from the downpour that was taking place, blinding car drivers and panicking citizens that had forgotten this very item. instead, he relished the feeling of the water racing down his clothes, the cling of his blond hair sticking to his forehead, the pools that sat in his shoes and were making his feet numb. lee felix walked aimlessly through the busy seoul street, hands in his pockets, his eyelashes dripping with raindrops that cascaded down his cheeks and face. the nightlife of the city, when the neon lights came on and shop fronts put up their bright signs, and the cars flickered on their way past, the bright flashing reflecting in the increasing pools of water, was his favourite. 

nobody took notice when lee felix sat back on a city curb, feet lying dangerously close onto the road, with his head thrown backwards and eyes scrunched shut, the pounding feeling of the rain on his face making him feel, for the first time in a while, alive.

he wasn’t a complicated person. no, felix liked to describe himself as simple minded and honest, straight -forward with his feelings and true. he didn’t ask for much, not anymore at least. a bit of rain was the only mercy he was awarded.

being non existent to the world was a burden he carried on his back, one that he felt would slowly cave his chest inwards and collapse his heart. over time, it was a thought that was etched into his brain constantly, and he had just been trained to ignore it. lee felix knew that it was there, devouring his brain inch by inch every second until there was nothing left. he knew that eventually, he was going to lose his mind. he knew that one day, when he couldn’t bring himself to get up from the very same streets he sat calmly on now, he would be gone, having been rotten away from the world’s ignorance towards him, and his own hatred for the world.

_what a sad, sad, thought._

a middle aged woman, dressed in professional attire and a stylish handbag on his wrist, stumbled next to felix in her high heels, frantic as the weather ruined her perfect hairstyle. she didn’t glance downwards as she accidentally kicked the boy in the back during her panicked sprint to shelter. she didn’t give any acknowledgement when felix yelped and keeled over, side burning with pain and causing him to lean onto the pavement, hand at his hip and curses on his tongue. he felt the usual blackish bruise tingling on his spine, a bruise to match the many others he had gotten over the past few years.

okay, maybe being strongly kicked by a woman with hard heels wasn’t something he’d encountered before, as he shrieked whilst trying to stand up , stumbling back down as his legs gave out and feet folded inwards. 

_‘whens the last time i ate again?’_

he felt his insides burn like a fire had been set inside of him, such an odd contrast to the cold stinging of the downpour on his skin that was cooling him down simultaneously. his body was confused and reacting poorly, given as it was deprived of energy and food. maybe felix was invisible, but he was invincible.

**“damn, are you alright?”**

and as if his body wasn’t experiencing enough sensation as it was, for the first time in years, felix felt someone, a living, breathing human being, touch his skin.

unconsciously, goosebumps arose onto his skin. without knowing what had happened, he felt the wildfire cease and surrender itself inside of him, the pain shutting itself out and hiding itself away, his soul calming from it’s eternal struggle, and his focus diverting on those fingers that clutched his arm.

the person felix gaped at was noticeably young, a sense of boyish and angsty tension that fluttered around him like a bird. he wore a hat that was spun backwards, hiding a ruffled and slightly wet head of black hair, some strands that had escaped sticking to the sides of his face. a pointed face and dark glassy eyes. felix even noticed several silver studs and a glistening earring dangling from the boy’s ears. glancing downwards, the boy wore what was seemingly a whole collision and war of black, though felix could make out the strands of the oversized hoodie the other was wearing, and the longer white shirt escaping from underneath it, clawing its way out. the boy’s shoelaces were untied and laying on the street, wet and dirty, it’s original white colour being plagued by mud.

**“dude, did she kick you too hard? are you okay?”**

and his voice. felix felt that raspiness dig into him, like it was an animal, and the tones vibrations sinking into his body. he didn’t know what he was feeling, or seeing, or hearing. his mind was shutting down, the before vibrant surrounding now closed off and the only thing he could bring his attention to was the angsty boy that stood next to him.

and was shaking him roughly, looking annoyed.

**“jesus, are you on something? it looks like you’re gonna pass out.”**

felix hadn’t spoken in months, any words that he had tried to conjure up before having died in his throat. and having not drank in a few days, it was dry and cracking, like burning wood.

_“y-you, you see me?”_

the dark haired boy rolled his eyes in disgust and frustration, letting go of the other’s arm and wiping his hands on his hoodie.

**“what the fuck did you take, man? you’re on some strong ass shit.”**

with his hands still trembling and throat burning, felix grabbed the other’s arm again, holding it for dear life, feeling the pulse through the boy’s veins, tears pricking his eyes and mixing with the rain above, sobbing and muttering incoherently.

_“you see me you see me you see me you see me-”_

**“what the fuck? get off me, you psycho!”** he snapped his arm away, yelling when felix went to approach closer, the blond haired boys body tensing up and hardly able to move.

**“jesus fucking christ-”**

the curses stumbled from his mouth naturally as seo changbin, panicked, scared for his life and instincts telling him to get away, turned on his heel and _ran._

lee felix watched as he sprinted down the streets, feet landing in puddles of water, each step taking him further and further away, each step making it harder for felix to catch up as he tried and stumbled, legs feeling like they were going to snap like matchsticks and his head spinning, though his eyes remained focused on that fleeting figure’s back in the distance.

_“you see me you see me you see me you see me-”_

when his breathing hitched and his legs gave out, causing him to fall onto his side, the earlier pain reawakening and a new pain causing hell on his entire body, felix’s tears turned into waterfalls and he screamed into seoul’s streets. he sobbed and shouted and begged, his fingernails and knuckles bleeding with the amount of times he had scraped them against the concrete. he screamed at the people that walked past blindly, the people whom he was a speck of dust to, the people to which he didn’t matter and never fucking would. the people of seoul’s streets, where he had met the one person who had seen him, had cared, had touched him and had fixed his heart and soul with a word. the boy who had extinguished a fire and calmed a storm inside of him in seconds, the boy whom felix had regained a piece of life with, the boy who had given felix a few seconds to feel alive.

_and when seo changbin’s body disappeared in crowds of unrecognisable people and felix lost him in the city that he hated yet loved at the same time, lee felix felt his soul crumbling to pieces._

_for the last time, he gazed at those bright lights and business and constant movement, and felix felt blinded._

_he collapsed onto the sidewalk as his lungs surrendered._

_before, at least he had one person. now, lee felix ceased to exist._


End file.
